when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” – Paulo Coelho

I don’t really know which figure of speech I should use to describe my association with running. I didn’t find running, it was the other way round, running found me with all its glory!
I started working out religiously in June 2014 @Fitness First. It was my last resort, in an effort to make corrective measures to repair my body, which was suffering (for almost nine years) from the after effects of crash dieting, starvation for long periods and the like, undertaken to lose weight in my teens. I had shed 25 kgs before marriage ,adopting faulty methods because of which I had lost all the tone and considerable muscle mass from my body. ( two deliveries and one miscarriage further complicated the matters ) and it didn’t look any easier  as I was not into any specific physical activity since long.

It needed serious strength training .I was not a big fan of this pain but had to take it up to make amends to my folly.

I met many compassionate people as I embarked on my journey through sweat and tears.
I took personal training for lifting weights under watchful eyes of my personal trainer, Loringail Almeida, the more I say about this sweet girl the less it is. She would hear incessant complaints about my body, areas that needed special care, my erratic behavior pattern, and mood swings et al.

We would have endless meetings on how to keep progressing without getting disheartened even if the results were not forthcoming.

Each session with her would be damn challenging, a mix of cardio, strength, agility and functional work out to bring out the required changes and in no time we had become great pals off sessions also. Our camaraderie struck beautiful chord and we valued each other’s presence in our respective lives.

With this was  the emotional turmoil ,for the pain which the body had to bear and  no imagery can ever bring to life the series of ups and downs ,the love- hate conundrum , I underwent to finally become a happy slave of the iron(the weights).
Weight training had tamed me big time!!!
And the gain was all mines.

My skin started breathing with life, the muscle mass was on the up, with corrective nutrition the fat% went down and it is not long before I started feeling good about life and its bounties!!!!
But as they all good things of life come in small packages so was it.

In pinkathon 2015 with Gail

Sweating it out in gym under Gail’s watchful eyes. 

Loringail divulged to me that she will be moving to UK permanently to pursue higher studies. All hell broke loose and I felt bereaved as we were still working on our target. The loss was twofold, losing a trainer who would understand me in and out and definitely a friend always each time I would think about her departure coming near, it would send shivers down my spine. The thought of being handicapped without her would plague me endlessly but I had to deal with it and take things in my stride.

Before bidding adieu, she gifted me something and I hold it closest to my heart.
In one of her sessions with me she asked me something to which I couldn’t believe my ears.
She said “Sapna, I want you to run the Pinakthon 2015 edition with me , a 10 km ONLY race for all women and it is about creating awareness about Breast cancer” . She said, you are very dear to me and I want to take this as a sweet memory forever in my heart that I ran with you.
I was appalled and fumed “u must be out of your wits to suggest me something like this”.
Running was never my forte .She knew it clearly in her books. Even a five minutes jog as a warm up before the main work out would have me gasp for breath .In fact to escape that I would intentionally reach ten minutes late for the sessions to skip the dreaded treadmill warm up but then the heart took over and I thought I will definitely go (read run) ahead and gift her this memory if that pleases her.

One week before the race(22nd February 2015) I did some so called practice of running 5 km and 8 km twice on that same treadmill…

Come race day and boy I was nervous to the hilt…

Because as I stood at the start line, the whole past flashed across my mind. I was wondering, is this really me?

Half of my  life I  had been a nerd, a hopeless moron,digging my head into books endlessly, struggling to even keep pace with my friends in the college corridor. I would always miss the laugh, the hearty banter.

The contrast made me feel weak in my knees because deep inside u remain your same old self!!!
All this while in the gym endeavouring to break the shackles, my sweat had been my electrolyte, shedding an occasional tear or two for the pain the body had to entail. I t is really catharsis for me.

The cheer from the crowd, the essence of the moment, the ecstasy of running, and the love affair with pain gave me a reason to smile and there I hoped that this is the beginning of umpteen races I will participate in future and bring some kind of glory to myself that I have not lived in vain.
I finished the race in 53 mins and stood 18th amongst all females participating the10k race.
Many people from the running community who worked out in my gym as well were amazed with my timing and I on my part had no clue as it was my first official race. The experience was exhilarating and I was happy to be bitten by the running bug!!!!
Thanks Loringail Almeida for infecting me!!!
I could not have been for happier.

I needed to get into the thick of things, follow a structured regime to take stock of what running is actually all about. I was a Layman and just knew how to put one foot ahead of the other!!!!
What I did was catch hold of all the literature available online, like face book pages related to running, join FB running groups and the stuff.

Then it occurred to be of no help. I got confused with all running related jargon. The tempos, intervals and fartlek would seem alien terms and I had understood it was in the end not as easy as it seemed whilst running.

One of my friends had made me join WhatsApp running group which used to operate in kormangala, the Daud group.

Some serious dedicated runners would log their running work out and I would meekly read and sulk!!!

My know how left a lot to be desired.

One fine morning on 17th march 2015 .I read a post from fellow runner in that group.
“Did 10kms tempo @ 4.24 pace in 44 mins, training hard to do sub 40 in TCS 10k 2015”.

He is Mr. Asif Ahmed for all of you.

I was like   , is he a human being or some stuff from a different planet!!! I happened to drop him a personal message with no intent of getting a reply back. I asked him for some help to bail me out of utter confusion which I was carrying in my head regarding running and its various terms. (I had briefed him about my Pinakthon score and that I was a newbie)
I was beside myself with joy when I saw my mobile flashing a reply from the speedster and he was more than eager to help me(to my utter joy).

What followed was a series of phone calls to him to make way for a better understanding of the subject. One thing which I remember very distinctly is he giving me an analogy of Oreo biscuit for tempo runs.

All these seemed futile as I was incorrigibly bad in comprehending his explanation until one day I asked him to meet me for some charcha over some chai!!!
He obliged and my joy knew no bounds!!

I don’t know how people can be so compassionate in helping others; their hearts must be made of some special stuff and that too so selflessly and unconditionally. He was one such person and I was lucky to have found someone who I had intuited…would help me in the long run both literally and figuratively.
As we kept in touch on a regular basis, he offered to help me with my training and would make small running work outs which I would try and execute it in my apartment’s 300 meters loop.
It was not a cakewalk (read run) doing all sorts of work out and I would sometimes squirm why I am making my body suffer by running haplessly to no end, what do I really get doing this? I would feel reflective??

“Running is the greatest metaphor to life because you get out of it…what u put into it”. True that!
I would talk about my daily struggle
whilst running and post it to Asif. And he would always lend his patient ears to my endless lamenting.

He observed that I had troubles executing intervals and suggested I should come one day to National Games Village and train with him the day I started running in NGV I didn’t look back. Thereafter I started executing all my training runs there and he would pace me diligently and it did my confidence a world of good .God bless the helping soul!!!

Gradually took baby steps in the humungous world of running. Progressed from Nike+ application to Garmin all under insightful guidance of Asif.

He is a class apart in terms of his vision towards the great concept of running and I would happily grasp everything like a dry sponge in thirst of moist knowledge.

Amidst my training, I participated in TCS 10k 2015. My score was 51:52, came third in my age category.

Running was unfolding its new face to me day in and out and I was happily enjoying the new lease of life it offered.

After TCS 10k, Asif suggested that he would make a structured training program for my maiden HM in October, the SPBM.I quickly laughed off his idea and joked around saying he must be out of his mind to even think that I can run 100 meters beyond 10 km mark. I said I am good for 10 ks that is my threshold, would not mind continuing it for the time being.

He said u can very easily progress to HMs and will surely do a superb Job.
I remember my first long run of 14 km.

He paced me in the beauty that  Cubbon park is and it was a feeling I can never put into words to step out of your comfort zone and explore your limits. I couldn’t thank him enough again. Once again!

First run in Cubbon Park beyond a 10k , paced by Asif 

He instilled in me the confidence that I can run longer distances, of which I had zero conviction.Under his foolproof guidance and selfless training, I took part in many races over a period of one year. All prestigious events in and out of Bangalore.
Our relation moved from strength to strength. Behind all the trivial arguments, fights and difference of opinion we had there was an inherent and mutual love for running as a sport which binds us together. The passion is devoid of words for expression!!

I had completed my training for my first HM, when Asif suggested I should participate in Spirit of Wipro run 21k to get a taste of what it actually feels to run that distance on a race day and that he would pace me there too. I was nervous but had Asif for my security cover. The SOW second place is very close to my heart.(thanks Asif for making me taste the fruit of success, it was as much your hard work as it was mine if not more)
It was my maiden HM.
I was paced by Asif.

My maiden HM podium and we reached the target 1:50 with evenly distributed laps considering a tough route that it was!!

SOW run paced by Asif
As I write this to share my experience on my eventful journey, full of adventures and learning, I would like to mention that I feel privileged to be a runner and in turn be associated with the esteemed community at large.

I am now an active member of Team Miles Ahead, a passionate running group which operates inWhitefield. We have stalwarts in the group who are FMers with good running credentials and experience. We log our daily work outs and that surely inspires one and all. I feel privileged to be one of the active members there.
Each day is new and there are new facets to grasp, new adventure to challenge new people to meet and share that you fall in love in with the journey and not the destination per se.
Recently I concluded one year of running on 31st January 2016 at Pinkathon.
Did my fifth HM with a score of 1:49:28 and stood fifth amongst 60 odd females participating. It was like home coming and what better way than being paced by Asif himself.

Pinkathon finish line sprint

Here is a brief snapshot of the races I took part in and the hard work’s rewards which followed through. Pinkathon (February 2015) 53 mins – 18th in open category.

1. Rupee for humanity 10k.( April 2015)-53 mins –  first place in open category


2.TCS 10k (May 2015) – 51:52 mins -third place in my age category.


3.Life is Calling 10k  ( June 2015)52 mins.-First place in open category.


4. Bangalore 10k challenge (July 2015). 50:48 mins- third place in my age category.


5. Snap fitness run (10k) second place in open category.


6.Spirit of Wipro (September 2015) HM- 1:50 mins.second place in open category.


7. SPBM (October 2015) – HM 1:51 mins – second place in my age category.


8. ADHM (November 2015) -HM- 1:49:10 mins- third place in my age category.


9.SCMM (January 2016) -HM-1:49:55 mins. fifth in my age category.


10.pinkathon (January 2016)-HM-1:49:28..fifth in open category

I greatly value the presence of all the people in my life, who made it all possible along with my hard work it is their support as well which made my running see the light of the day.
This whole narrative would lose its purpose if I don’t mention the unconditional support I got from my husband Rakesh Agarwal.

Who always believed that I had the potential, mettle and grit to pursue my aspirations? He always stood look like a rock and had unfettering faith in me as woman to take my dreams to a level up always, if it was not for him, I would not have been able to materialize my dreams (still doing it.) The long runs have me leave home at pitch darkness in the morning and by the time I come back he takes care of the kids. Sometimes on week days when I rush late he packs them off to school as well.
What more could I have asked from life?

It is imperative that I mention to all the females that u have to dig deep into your soul , find your true calling and live by it, everything else will definitely fall into meek submission if your resolve to see yourself up there is strong enough. We are all equal and if I can do it for myself, so can you!
Just keep reminding if you can’t do it for yourself- no one else will!!

 On Podium in SPBM 2015

 Life is calling 2015 with Asif .

 TCS10K 2015 , with Loringail , Asif and late Sunny (May his soul rest in peace)

With none other than Rakesh Agarwal (My husband) in ADHM 2015
Happy running!!! Happy life!!!

The queer case i.e. Plan B

Plan A Plan B

whilst I was taking a cool down walk late in the night after my run,

I chanced upon meeting someone after a long time, 

A brief chat and she started asking me a lot of questions about my health, daily routine and how do I confirm to my diet when I am on the go. What I shared with her made me realize that it is needful for me to jot it down. 

Here I go, 

We all make plan A in our lives, the plan which is fool proof, sure shot way to achieve our goals, desires and outcomes. 

As much as we would like it to materialize things do not always happen the ideal way. 

There are contingencies which we might fail to take into account while formulating our plan. 

As a result of which we might not be able to follow our original plan A. 

What do we do? 

Do we allow our strategy, planning and modus operandi to go kaput? 

Or is there any course of action which we can adopt midway and not let the plan go haywire. 

This is called plan B. 

There is always plan B available. 

The only question is do we have the foresight and acumen to understand and implement it. 

The homework done for plan A can always be used to make plan B operational, 

It needs a little tweak and editing and we still can achieve our outcomes. 

How do we define plan B? 

Plan B is the second-best option or way to get to where you ideally want to be! 

It might not be the best result or the best course of action but definitely the second best. 

Second best option is definitely better than not having any. 

Is not it? 

The question was how do I make sure I stick to my diet when I am travelling or I am on the go? 

I replied that ideally the best would be home cooked balanced food, veggies, eggs and shakes. 

When I am travelling if that is not available, I search for the second best (plan B) option.  

I try and include raw cut salad, veggies, fruits, curd, dal and might carry some protein bars and nuts with me.  

Not having plan A available does not mean I don’t have the next best option available and it should serve as an excuse and allow me the privilege of gorging on the entire buffet spread(lol). 

If I don’t achieve my goals and cite excuses then I have no one but myself to blame. 

I am myopic to the options and the ways available to me to achieve my goals as also the contingencies and hiccups which might occur on the way. 

My two cents for plan A and plan B. 

We are the choosers

Sapna doing yoga

Taking deep breaths while meditating a thought just crossed my mind.
What are the substances we receive inside our body from external space?
The mind is the most powerful tool where we create blue print of our lives.
This is the seat where ideas, thoughts and intentions take birth.
We allow plans and designs from our external environment to enter our minds.

We are choosers here!

We nurture our bodies with water and food which we absorb from our natural environment.
Our physical health is largely governed by what we consume.

We are choosers here!

Our bodies are connected with our soul through a seemingly modest sounding word called breath.
Breath is prana and it is life giving force.
The deeper it is the better the quality of our lives.

Here too, we are choosers!

The mind, the body and the soul thrive on a beautiful concoction of thoughts, nutrition and breath work.
Who can discern what enters our being?
You and only you.

The quality of our lives, our happiness, health and our general wellbeing is apparently governed by factors which are in our control.

Yet we fail at taking ownership,
Yet we choose to blame things outside of us for the predicament we are in our lives.
Yet we choose to stay despondent and miserable.
What is actually the formula or secret to stay happy?

Is it some degree, recognition, an award, a medal or being at the top of the game in the rat race that is self-created?
What we see as a sure shot hack for happiness is nothing but an illusion.

It is a sham!
More often than not, when you reach there, you still find yourself miserable.

Why is that so?
It is because you placed your happiness in the things, people, situations, post and credentials.
Where happiness does not live.

True and everlasting happiness is found only within you and it can never be had any other way.

Running does not hurt. Your skewed thought process definitely does!!

Running Doesn't hurt

Running doesn’t hurt,!!
The deficiencies and weaknesses in your body when you take up running hurt!!!
I was doing my long run in NGV today when a person came ahead of me in scooty,
Asked me,
Ma’am can I ask you something?
I often see you running here for long hours, don’t your knees pain?
I paused my watch and gave him a piece of my mind.

So here it is,
Our bodies follow a certain kind of lifestyle,
And they get used to that pattern over time,
What happens when someone takes up something new(read sport).
The body goes into shock mode and doesnot know what to do, the inherent gaps, weaknesses in muscles surface as these muscles were never put to test before..
Sometimes the muscles get so weak that climbing up and down the stairs becomes a task.
So much for following a sedentary lifestyle.
It is not that because you are running your knees hurt,
the muscles supporting your knees are not strong, when they are put to test like whilst running, they give up and the load falls on the joint.i.e, the knees.

While it is true that certain sport requires more strength in particular muscle of your body depending on usage but it only makes sense to strengthen the whole body with specific exercises.

I have seen many people despondently giving up a sport because of the injury risk and so called thoughts associated with it.
Running is a great detector.. Honestly, i feel it is good to keep working on and improve what comes on surface as pain or niggle.
Over time you will notice that running has made you stronger by bringing your weaknesses to fore.
Yes it requires you to be proactive. Rehab and follow up is the most important part.

Next time when someone says, running hurts, .
better show them the work they have not put in getting their act right..
Gym is the place, your home, thera bands, with simple exercises
a lot can be done.
Yes, how important is your passion for running will decide whether you come back stronger or shun the sport.
I have had many injuries in the past(knees, hamstring, ankle, calf, glute) too.
The only way I got better was correcting the original weakness.
I am grateful to running for helping me get stronger and better.

Strong is the new Beautiful

Strong is new Beautiful

As I grew up in a conservative and orthodox set up, my idea  and perception of how we defined beauty was  more in line with being conventional. Being born as an ugly  brown duckling in a family of all fair siblings  never made matters easy for me.

I would burn myself with self pity seeing my elder sister glow with beautiful red pimples defining her ever radiant skin .
I would sulk day in and out for being over weight, rigid, not so good looking and failing miserably to fit into all ensembles worthy of making me look a  little less podgy.
Consequently, I spent a major part of my teen age years drowning myself into books and more books , as a means of escape from being caught by the judgmental norms of the society.

The more I found aberration outside the more I found myself getting reclusive.

Since I was devoid of one, The dictionary meaning of beauty always eluded me. I didn’t possess the so called hour glass figure coupled with physical features to die for.
Mirror, so to say ,was not amongst my best friends, I remember distinctly trying to take a longer route to reach a place if had to confront mirror en-route.
These were my  thoughts about self as I grew up.

Not surprisingly  I was low on self esteem, always shy and introvert, always staying aloof.
Years later, something dawned upon me, as an attempt of safeguard self pride, (which I believe is very important for all of us) I embarked on my journey to  make myself look and feel beautiful.

To get into the mode which defined what conventional beauty was all about.
Rumi truly says

” what you seek is seeking you”.

This quote defines how beautiful I feel today.
Standing where I do now, I realized how farce my thoughts were and how hollow my growing up years.
Nonetheless, if not for my erstwhile perception , I would not have got an overhaul. Can’t thank my past for that.
I took it upon myself to change my life for better.
Interestingly enough, I realized that if you are steadfast in your approach, life will definitely take you where your heart truly belongs.
Trial and error ,had me do all sort of physically exerting work outs. Be it yoga, gym, Pilates and the list is endless until I found love in pumping Iron and it took me by surprise and ask not how!
Lifting weights and more weights has made me feel stronger in the most vulnerable of situations.
It is not easy, it is not a cakewalk, it is  indeed difficult to tame !
The pure joy and euphoria that surrounds the feeling can be had no other way.
The paradigm shift was not quick and effortless, I was agile, stubborn and really not forthcoming in my approach, behind the closed doors were oodles of tears for the pain my body and heart would entail.
 Today, I proudly define beauty as being strong, being able to wear one’s heart on the sleeves, ability to conquer fear, take on a new challenge, embark on the quintessential pursuit to keeping trying despite failures. Beauty to me is beyond physical attributes, it is overcoming the limits our minds put on us. It is never having to give up in the face of adversity.
I feel the most beautiful when I am at the finish line of race or at the end of a grueling work out barely able to breathe. Sweat makes me shine with pride as I feel stronger to take one step forward in the journey drawn towards knowing the unknown.
World over, at all ‘crossfit’ boxes, the mirror is conspicuous by its absence , rightly so as the beauty captured  by mirror fails in comparison to the beauty defined by strength.
I am happy  I overcame my prejudice and hope each one of us find his strength and consequently his beauty inside out.